Shattered Hope Read online

  Baby Makes Three:

  #1 Shattered Hope

  Graham & Donna Caldwell

  By D.M. Turner

  Copyright 2015 by D.M. Turner

  Cover designed by the author

  Baby photo by “sekundator” of DPC

  Gray wolf photo by “Chanov” of DPC

  Dark brown wolf photo by “hkuchera” of DPC

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including photocopying, recording or any information retrieval or storage system without the prior written permission of the author.

  Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, (c) 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

  BISAC: Fiction/Christian/Fantasy

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents, and dialogue are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Epilogue

  Prologue

  “For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him.” - 1 Samuel 1:27

  Home of Ian Campbell, Pack Alpha

  Campbell Wildlife Preserve

  Outside Flagstaff, Arizona

  Wednesday, October 14, 2015

  “I think I need to see Jeremy.” Donna Caldwell pulled her feet up on the couch and hugged her knees.

  “Why?” Tanya Campbell cocked her head.

  “I’m afraid I might be pregnant.” She frowned and lowered her gaze to her finger tracing an invisible line on the leather-upholstered cushion. “It might not be Graham’s. What if that scumbag who Turned me got me pregnant?” Oh, God, I don’t think I could handle that. He was so cruel, and how would Graham feel about raising another man’s child? Sure, he’s helping with my brother Tommy, but that’s totally different. She forced down the memories that tried to surface.

  “Why would you think that?” Tanya’s frown carried as much confusion as concern.

  “I haven’t had a period since I was attacked.”

  “Are you feeling sick or anything?”

  Donna shook her head. “No, I’m just… late.”

  “I had the same concern after Colin pulled me out of that horrible place.”

  “And?”

  “He assured me it was impossible. The first Shift is so violent, due to the changes the body goes through, that any existing pregnancy is spontaneously aborted, no matter what stage it’s in.”

  Thank you, Lord. She frowned. Not that I’m grateful for the death of an innocent, but I hope You understand I want any child I carry to be my husband’s.

  “That said, you’re not pregnant. It’s impossible.”

  “What? Why?”

  Kelly Darrow exited the hallway, having put Tommy to bed in Ian’s guestroom. He said she was the only one who read to him the way he liked. Donna chose not to be hurt by her brother’s comment and focus on gratitude for the help. He adored Kelly and Tanya, and they’d been wonderful with him while the men hunted a mountain lion that had nearly killed Kelly’s mate-to-be, Brett Mitchell, a few days before. They had yet to catch it.

  “Um, Kelly?” Tanya turned to the other woman, who dropped into one of the chairs bracketing the couch and slouched down. “Remember what you told me last week about the changes in our reproduction with the Shift to wolf?”

  “Of course.” Kelly nodded.

  “You need to explain that to Donna, too. She thinks she might be pregnant.”

  Kelly sighed and shook her head. “The men in this pack really need to communicate with their females better. They should’ve told you this sort of thing as soon as possible after your Turning. It’s not the kind of information to withhold until it’s requested. Female werewolves don’t have human reproductive cycles. Major changes occur during the first Shift, leaving us with annual heats like wild canines. Our heats occur in the summer. That’s the only time we can possibly get pregnant.”

  “So… I can’t get pregnant until I… go into heat? Like a dog I saw wandering the trailer park every few months with males following her everywhere?”

  “Similar, but not the same. The other males in the pack will leave you alone because you’re mated. Graham will be more protective and possessive during that time, so Ian may have the two of you stay away from the pack to save some stress. My father never allowed subordinate wolves to have mates, so I can only speculate about that.”

  “What about your sister?” Tanya asked.

  “He basically sold her off to an alpha he knows. Someone he met at some business conference or something.” Kelly scowled. “Anyway, subordinates are allowed to hold females captive and rape them but not to have permanent mates.”

  Donna grimaced. “How horrible. I’m glad Ian’s not like that.” Then she sighed and half-smiled. “On the pregnancy thing, I’m relieved on the one hand and disappointed on the other.”

  Tanya nodded. “I know what you mean.” She glanced at Kelly. “You need to tell her the rest. About fertility.”

  Why did that sound so ominous? “What about it?”

  “Werewolves have unreliable fertility. No one knows why, but heats don’t always result in pregnancy, no matter how much sexual contact mates have. I’ve only my family to go on, but my mother went into heat almost every year and had only seven live births and two stillbirths over the course of forty years. My sister has had only two in almost twenty years. Female offspring are less common than males. My mother had one female for every two males. My sister has only had males so far.”

  Donna considered all of that. “So we can anticipate difficulty getting pregnant, and we’ll probably have more boys than girls.” She smiled. “I can live with that.”

  Chapter 1

  Caldwell residence

  Near Flagstaff, Arizona

  Thursday, June 9, 2016

  RESTLESS, Donna paced the confines of the house, waiting for Graham to come home from work. All week, she’d been unsettled, and getting worse by the day. The fact she couldn’t come up with an explanation for it increased her stress. She hadn’t said anything to Graham, hoping it would go away, but it hadn’t. Even the brush of fabric against her skin compounded it, but running around the house stark-naked… not an option, especially with a kid brother who could come home anytime.

  Her temper had been on edge most of the week, so she’d stayed home for the most part and pretty well isolated to avoid snapping and snarling at some innocent bystander.

  Like the guy in line behind her at the grocery story that morning. He’d made a friendly pass. Nothing serious. Yeah, he’d been interested, but he hadn’t been rude or offensive about it. She’d glared at him and barely restrained a growl. She hated to think how she’d have reacted if he’d touched her or said something that was actually annoying.

  And poor Tommy. She’d nearly bitten his head off Monday evening. Juice spilled on the kitchen floor hadn’t warranted such a reaction, but she hadn’t been able to rein it in. Graham had stepped in, helped Tommy clean up the mess, and then taken Tommy the next morning to spend some time with the pack alpha, Ian Campbell.

  She stopped pacing to stare out the window in the kitchen over the forest that filled their expansive backyard. Poor Tommy. He’d looked so baffled and wounded. She’d spoken with him over the phone late Tuesday morning to apologize.

  “It’s okay,” he’d assured with a smile warming his voice. “Graham explained everything. I totally
understand.”

  If only she did. And what exactly had Graham explained?

  The rumble of the garage door announced Graham’s return. Donna turned to stare at the door between the garage and the kitchen. She had no choice but to talk to him. They had to figure out why she was on edge, before someone got hurt. The wolf couldn’t be permitted to take charge, and it clawed closer to the surface each day.

  The door opened, and Graham walked through, dropping his keys and briefcase on the table beside the door. He closed the door and glanced up as he dug his wallet out of his pocket to toss it on the table. His gaze met hers, and a big smile warmed his face in an instant. “Hey, you.” His smile faded then his brow puckered. “Are you alright?”

  “No.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Tears pricked her eyes. “I feel like I’m about to climb out of my skin.”

  “That’s not surprising. I feel it, too.” He chuckled and shook his head as he rounded the island and closed the distance between them. “I’ve got tomorrow and all of next week off.”

  What did that have to do with the way she felt? “Why?”

  Graham cocked his head with a puzzled frown. “I’m afraid I’ll kill one of the guys I work with. I’m not liking other men much at the moment.”

  Not helpful. Was a weird moon coming or something? The super moon the previous September had certainly had some odd effects, but not like this. “Why?”

  “Why?” His mouth opened then closed, as though he was at a loss for words. “Uh… do you really need to ask?”

  “I wouldn’t if I didn’t.” Was he mocking her? Donna narrowed her eyes and glared at him. He didn’t appear to be teasing. Just confused.

  His eyes widened after a long moment, and he smacked his forehead with an open palm. “Oh, man!” He lowered his hand, gently gripped her upper arms, and sighed. “I’m so sorry. I assumed Kelly explained.”

  “Explained what?”

  “Have you noticed a difference in your scent this week?”

  “No.” She frowned at him. Great. Had she been stress-sweating and stinking up the house without realizing it? “I don’t generally pay much attention to how I smell. Why?”

  “You went into heat the first of the week.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Graham smiled. “Trust me. I’ve been around female wolves in the past. It’s been a while, but I still recognize the scent.”

  Kelly had explained the basics. Annual heats. The only time they could get pregnant. Fertility was unpredictable among werewolves for reasons no one seemed to have a clue about, so pregnancy was a big question mark until it actually happened. Nobody had said anything about restlessness, irritability, or a desire to climb out of her own skin. That might’ve been good to know. Certainly would’ve been preferable to spending days worried that she was losing her mind or getting ready to snap and kill someone.

  Her husband caressed her cheek, dragging her thoughts out of the mire. “Are you okay?”

  “I feel kind of like Tanya does at times.”

  He cocked his head. “I don’t understand.”

  “She gets annoyed at finding everything out the hard way. You know, information not being shared until right about the time she needs it, so she has no idea what to expect.” Donna scowled. “At this moment, I understand why she hates that so much.” She glanced at the phone. “I probably should call and warn her about this.”

  “I would think Ian or Kelly would’ve told her.”

  She raised a brow. “Like they did me, you mean?”

  He chuckled. “Good point.”

  Wait a minute. Hadn’t he said he felt it, too? “What are you feeling right now? You mentioned not liking other men. Is that all?”

  Graham grinned and scratched his head, his gaze shifting away for a moment before returning to hers. “Well, not exactly. Other than having to restrain the urge to rip into the guys I work with, I’ve been more impatient with traffic and wanting less to be around the pack. My appetite has increased, and….” A sheepish look crossed his face.

  “And?”

  “Well, let’s just say my appetite for food isn’t the only thing that’s increased.” He stepped close enough to brush against her, his gaze melding with hers. “I want you more than ever. The way you smell is making me crazy, and I don’t mean that figuratively.”

  “Oh.” She laughed softly and lowered her gaze. “You haven’t said anything.”

  “You weren’t ready. After seeing Alison’s response to Ian years ago when he pushed too soon, I decided to play it cool.”

  “What happened?” Was she a threat to her mate?

  He released her to back away and leaned his backside against the island, his eyes narrowed in thought. “They’d only gotten married the previous spring, so they were still learning about each other when Alison went into heat. Ian was more openly affectionate with her than usual, which didn’t seem to bother her. Then the full moon came. They ran with the pack. Ian tried to mount her, and she turned on him.”

  Donna gasped as horror swept through her. Oh, no. I might hurt Graham?

  “It’s not as bad as it sounds. Her attack was mostly noise and posturing. Bloodshed was minimal.”

  Minimal. Yeah, sure, that made it all better. Not.

  To her surprise, Graham chuckled. “Ian said it was a stupid thing to do, but he’d felt the need to establish his position as her mate in front of the rest of the pack. He’d let hormones override good sense and hadn’t expected it to backfire in such stellar fashion. They never ran with the pack after that when Alison was in heat.”

  “Smart move.”

  “I asked once if he’d ever again made the mistake of pushing her.” He grinned. “The summer Colin was conceived, Ian got antsy. Alison yelled at him and locked herself in the bedroom until the next day.”

  That wasn’t so bad. No blood lost on either side at least. “So, how will we know I’m ready?”

  Graham raised his hands out from his sides, palms up, and shrugged. “I have no idea. Ian never told me what to watch for. He just said Alison would let him know.”

  “He didn’t say how?”

  He shook his head.

  Donna frowned and muttered, “I guess it’s not just pack females who aren’t informed about things.” She sighed and met his gaze. “So how are we supposed to know I’m ready?”

  “Not a clue.” A warm smile crossed his face, and amusement danced in his eyes. “But, I suspect if you’re questioning whether you’re ready, you’re not.”

  She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Not helpful.”

  He chuckled. “Anyway, since that particular appetite needs to wait, maybe we can address the one that’s safer. Food. I’d suggest going out to eat, but if another man so much as looks at you, I might rip his throat out, so we should probably stay in for dinner.”

  “There are steaks thawed in the fridge. They’re ready to grill.”

  “Wonderful.” He pushed away from the island. “I’ll fire up the grill.”

  As Graham retreated out the backdoor, Donna watched him go. How could he take it all in stride, particularly when there were things he didn’t know? Wolves really needed to communicate better. She should call Tanya. Now.

  Chapter 2

  Friday, June 10, 2016

  DONNA tossed and turned, despite trying to be still so she wouldn’t disturb Graham, who slept soundly beside her. She rolled onto her side, facing him. How could he sleep? If he felt even half what she did, he should toss and turn with her. The restlessness alone was about to drive her batty. It was probably a good thing she’d never had an interest in alcohol, or the current situation just might push her to drink. Then again, with her luck, werewolves would turn out to be immune to the effects of alcohol.

  She closed her eyes for a moment and focused on the soft, gentle sound of Graham’s slow, steady breathing. That and his scent usually calmed her and helped her sleep when bad memories crept into the nighttime hours. This time, not so much. In fact….

>   Her eyes popped open, and she studied him. Desire coiled outward from deep inside, growing in intensity, until even her skin tingled. She’d wanted her mate before, but not so strongly that it became a physical impulse driving even her next breath. Not like in that moment.

  So, wake Graham or let him sleep? He didn’t have to go to work, so he could sleep late if he wanted. A slow smile relaxed her face. Over the past several months, he had awakened her in the middle of the night, often, to make love. She’d never had the courage to reciprocate. Why shouldn’t she? Would he object? Only one way to find out.

  Easing closer, she ran a finger across his bare chest in a feather-light touch and kissed his shoulder. His breathing shifted. Then a smile appeared, and hazel eyes slit open. Emboldened by his smile, she moved closer, allowing her lips to trail to his neck and then follow the path her fingers took across his chest. His breath caught then quickened, along with the beat of his heart. Graham’s fingers sifted through her hair.

  Donna frowned. Too little contact. She wanted more. She sat up, stripped off her gown, and straddled her husband’s waist.

  Graham chuckled softly. “I guess you’re ready, huh?”

  “If I’m not, we’re in trouble when I am.” She grinned and leaned down to kiss him.

  * * *

  The first hint of daylight crept around the closed curtains when Graham opened his eyes. He rolled toward his wife, only to find her side of the bed empty and cold. He sat up and looked around. Donna’s robe was gone from the chair near the bedroom door where he’d seen her drop it the night before when they’d gone to bed. The bathroom door stood open, and the light was off.

  He grabbed a pair of sweatpants off the floor, pulled them on, and went looking for her. The house was still and quiet. As he neared the living room, a faint sniffle reached his ears. If he’d been human, he wouldn’t have heard it. He found his wife curled up at one end of the couch, her back pressed into the corner, knees tight to her chest. Even in the dim light coming through a window across the room, he saw tears on her face.