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  Understandable. Ian had been ready to give up when Alison died. His gaze rested on Colin. If he’d lost his son, too, there would’ve been no recovery. Only Colin’s needs had kept him from surrendering to the grief of losing his mate. Brady had no children left to tie him to life. Alison had been the last.

  They sat in silence and watched Colin play. What else could be said?

  At some point, a car engine disrupted the quiet. Soon thereafter, Graham came in the front door. His gaze scanned the room then locked on Ian and Brett. “Brady’s gone wolf. Some of the others went with him into the mountains. We’ll take turns staying with him, but this could be really bad.” Tears glistened in his eyes. “Brady told me once about a werewolf doing this after his mate had died. The man went berserk and had to be put down.”

  Ian and Brett shared a worried look. Then Ian shifted his gaze to Graham. “How long did it take for the man to lose himself to the wolf?”

  “A few weeks, I think. Maybe months. I can’t recall for sure.” Graham lowered his head. “It’ll have to be you, Ian. You’re the only one strong enough to take him on.”

  “Maybe it won’t be necessary.” He shook his head. “Perhaps he just needs a bit of time.”

  “I hope so, but I have my doubts. You didn’t see the look of total hopelessness right before he Shifted.”

  “We’ll deal with it if we have to. In the meantime, we’ll support him and hope he pulls out of it.” Brett hadn’t given up on Ian. They couldn’t give up on Brady. Not yet.

  * * *

  The mountains outside Flagstaff, Arizona

  Friday, June 8, 1990

  The full moon rose, and the pack converged on Brady’s location to run with him. He’d lost weight over the months since his mate’s death, but he continued to hunt enough to survive. Ian had found it comforting to know that his alpha didn’t intend to starve himself to death in grief as Felicity had done, as he would’ve done himself if not for Colin. Because Colin wasn’t yet old enough for the first Shift, O’Neil’s human wife had come to babysit him for the night. Until her death, Alison had stayed at the house with him through full moons. Either way, his son was safe.

  Brady’s large, gray form lurked at the top of the next rise. He raised his nose to the sky and howled. Long and mournful, the sound prompted others to join in, including Ian. Ten voices sang into the dark night. Then the hunt began.

  Ian kept an eye on Brady, who had acted oddly the past few days. He’d been grumpier, snapping and snarling at others, even when there had been no call for correction. The strange look in his eyes didn’t set well with Ian either. It reminded him too much of the look in the eyes of the wolf who had Turned him so many years before. Come on, Brady. You can beat this. Please.

  Late into the night, a cry from one of the others halted Ian in his tracks. The pack had separated to herd and exhaust an elk they’d been hunting. He dismissed the tiring animal and lifted his head to pinpoint where the cry had come from.

  Another yelp rang out. Pain.

  He turned in that direction and ran.

  Moments later, he came upon a gruesome scene. Brady had O’Neil pinned to the ground. Graham and two others were already down and making no attempt to rise. The metallic scent of blood was overpowering.

  Ian snorted to clear his nose and assessed the situation.

  O’Neil gave all indications of submission, but still Brady didn’t let go.

  Movement to his side made Ian turn his head.

  Brett came alongside him then took a half-step back in obvious horror. Then he shot Ian a resigned, defeated look. They both knew what had to be done. Brady would kill the whole pack if he wasn’t stopped.

  His heart aching, Ian shot across the short distance, slamming into Brady.

  The wolf released O’Neil, who whimpered and didn’t get up. Brady turned to snarl at Ian. The crazed look in his eyes assured Ian of one thing—his alpha and friend was no longer there.

  The wolf that had been Brady launched an impulsive attack. Ian intercepted him rather than wait. If Brady got away from him, he could wipe out the rest of the pack and become a threat to the humans only miles away in and around Flagstaff. The wolf, crazed as it was, wouldn’t exhibit any fear of exposing them to the humans. It had to be stopped.

  The battle wore on. Ian began to tire, both from the length of the combat and the amount of blood he’d lost in the process.

  Brady had more stamina than anticipated, and more strength, too, considering his half-starved condition.

  Determination cut deep. The cost was too high if Ian lost. He couldn’t fail. Not in this. He doubled his efforts to take the other wolf down.

  Finally, an opening appeared. He latched hard onto Brady’s throat, catching a carotid artery with one canine and ripping into it.

  Brady fought Ian’s hold, succeeding only in doing more damage to himself. The fight weakened and gradually went out of him. After what seemed forever, he stopped struggling. His legs collapsed. He flailed a bit then heaved one last breath and lay still. His heart no longer beat. Blood no longer pulsed.

  Ian let go and stepped back, grief weaving through him. Too much death. Alison, Felicity, Brady. He raised his nose to the sky and howled. Others joined him. He recognized Brett’s voice, as well as those of Graham and O’Neil. So Brady hadn’t killed those two.

  The other two wolves had reverted to human form, dead on the forest floor. Two more losses for the pack to cope with, along with losing their alpha. How many more would die that year?

  Carlos and the remaining two members of the pack stood on the periphery. One of the latter glared at Ian and bared his teeth. Graham, Brett, and O’Neil moved to Ian’s side in a show of force. The other wolf backed down.

  Ian turned away and limped toward home. He’d lost a dear friend that night. No more, Lord. Please. I’ve had more than enough death to last me a lifetime.

  Once he reached the house, he entered through the garage and the laundry door that had been left open and padded through the house past O’Neil’s wife to the master bedroom. He went to Colin’s crib, stood on his hind feet to rest his forepaws on the side of the bed, and gazed down at his son. He’d spend the next day with his son. Maybe they’d even go up the mountain behind the house and watch the sunset like they’d often done before Alison’s death.

  * * *

  Sunday, April 30, 2017

  Ian waited for Tanya to absorb all he and Brett had told her, sharing a sad, resigned look with his friend. Now she knew. He’d killed the previous alpha, one of his best friends.

  Brett sighed. “The wolf who’d stepped up to challenge Ian over killing Brady left the pack after that, along with the other who hadn’t seen the fight. They didn’t want to believe that Brady had actually gone crazy and killed two of the others and almost killed Graham and O’Neil. That left five of us here. Brady had willed all of the land to a family trust in Colin’s name.”

  “It’s so tragic.” Tanya finally raised her head to look at them. Tears streamed down her face. “For you to lose Alison and then to have to kill Brady....” She shook her head. “I can’t even imagine how hard that must’ve been for you.”

  She didn’t blame him. Relief coursed through him.

  “After that, we built the walls around the Preserve. I was so afraid I’d fail to stop Brady, and he’d go after humans. The walls offer at least some assurance that won’t happen should something like that ever arise again.”

  Tanya lowered her gaze and fell silent for a minute. Then her gaze rose and locked with Ian’s. “That’s what you were afraid would happen with me when I first came here, isn’t it? That you’d have to kill me.”

  “Yes. When you wouldn’t return to human form, I worried. I never want to have to do that again, and certainly not to a female.”

  She set her notepad and pen on the floor and got out of her seat. In moments, she’d thrown her arms around Ian’s neck. “Thank you for sharing all of this with me and helping me understand you better.”<
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  “You’re not disappointed in me?”

  “No.” She drew back and gave him a watery smile. “I could never be that.” Then she went and hugged Brett, whose eyes widened in shock. “Thank you for being such a good friend and seeing him through so much ugliness.”

  Brett sat there and didn’t say anything. He shifted in the chair when Tanya released him and stepped back.

  “A few months ago, Colin mentioned that you weren’t letting him read what you wrote. Is that still the case?”

  She nodded, and her gaze fell to the floor.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want him to know what I was thinking and feeling when I was first brought here.”

  “Why not?”

  She shrugged.

  “Are you afraid he’ll love you less?”

  After a moment, she nodded.

  “That won’t happen, Tanya. You should let him read it. It’ll help him understand you better.” Ian sighed. “And when all of this is written, you should ask him to read it as well. My life illustrates what the wolf is truly capable of. Colin has never embraced that knowledge.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “It is. I’ll just have to deal with it, if knowing what I’ve done causes him to think less of me.”

  “That won’t happen.” She shook her head and leaned down to pick up her pad and pen. “And, you know, Brady was right about you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re a good alpha. He knew that when you met.” A cry from the guestroom pulled her gaze away. “Duncan’s hungry.” She hugged the notepad close and turned back to them. “I’ll get all of this typed up in story format over the next day or two and back to you for a check.”

  “That’s fine. There’s no hurry.”

  Tanya quickly left the room to tend to her son.

  “She’s right, you know.” Brett pinned him with a knowing grin. “Regardless of how much you hate the job, you’re a good alpha.” He got to his feet. “I better head home before Kelly thinks I’ve run off for good. We had a fight this morning.”

  “Again? Do you two do anything but fight?”

  “Sure.” Brett’s grin grew. “We have fabulous make-up sex.”

  Ian chuckled. “That I don’t need to know about.”

  “Actually, we don’t fight as much as we used to. It’s more foreplay than real fighting anymore.”

  “I don’t need to know that either, thank you very much.”

  “By the way, you should know we’ve been praying for you.”

  “Do I want to know why?”

  “For a mate.”

  “I don’t want one.”

  “Yeah, well, neither did I.” Brett chuckled, slapped him on the shoulder, and headed for the door. “See you later.”

  Ian watched him leave then shuddered. No way. He’d already lost two women he loved. He wasn’t about to go there again.

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  Also by D.M. Turner

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  Watch for more at D.M. Turner’s site.